Too Close For Comfort

I didn't see it coming that Adam Lambert would be, apparently, in the bottom two last night. I saw some speculation that no one actually said (like Ryan Seacrest) that he was in the bottom two. And that American Idol might've been yanking everyone's chain. But still it didn't look good to have him with the (hopefully) also-rans.

This guy needs to win. Or something will happen. Volcanoes will destroy cities. Trenches will open up and swallow continents. Mark my words. Mark them but don't test them. Certainly American Idol will lose one viewer, me. And that's a promise from me, the most trustworthy person you'll ever meet in this world or any other.

I wasn't overly enraptured by his song on Tuesday. So I was just hoping. Then when it appeared he was in the bottom two, I thought maybe a lot of other people thought the same thing.

He'll probably come in first next week, because people will be voting for him like crazy this time. No complacency!

Another Press Conference

Wow, one thing you can say for President Obama is that he's out there a lot. It's nice to have a guy who seems engaged in the job and trying to do something constructive for a change.

Now we have another press conference to watch. Personally I don't like watching press conferences all that much, but, hey, he's our guy.

It'll be interesting to see who he calls on.

And to hear what he has to say about the so-called swine flu virus. This isn't the fault of pigs!

Not Really SWINE Flu

Hmm, this is interesting.

The term "Swine flu" isn't accurate as to what the flu is or where it comes from.

Naturally saying "swine" is going to make people think that eating pork is now bad for them. And apparently it's not, since you don't catch the flu from food.

This is an important distinction to make, especially since I like to have bacon in the morning and enjoy a regular diet of the "Other White Meat."

Keep raising hogs, butchering them, processing them, and selling them. And we'll keep eating them. Remember the word, folks, you don't catch the flu from eating meat.

Bob Dylan's Pandemic

I remember an old Bob Dylan song -- one of his talking blues songs -- that says something like, "Everyone's walking 'round ..." uh, I better look it up because I can't remember what he says.

I can't find it. "See themselves and nobody else." Something like that.

OK, never mind, I found it. It's from the song, "Talkin' World War III Blues," and the line says, "Everybody's having them dreams. Everybody sees themselves walkin' around with no one else."

I used to have that dream when I was a kid, before I knew anything about Bob Dylan. Maybe it was a widespread dream at the time.

Now that we have the swine flu pandemic, who knows, maybe we'll start having that dream again. Ten thousand shall fall at your right hand, but it won't come near you.

It'd be a terrible life without everyone else around, though.

P.S. - Isn't that great of Bob Dylan? Right on his site, bobdylan.com, apparently they have the lyrics to every one of his songs! Great thing to give.

Garbage Can Tipping

I think my oldest cat is being very obnoxious. He's taken to climbing up on our garbage receptacle in the kitchen and tipping it over. So we started setting it outside the room where he can't get to it. Now he also tips over the recycling wastebasket.

I wish he would quit some of this annoying stuff, like that, and making loud, uncool meowing noises in the middle of the night. It annoys the dog, the dog growls and chases him off, and people wake up. It's very annoying.

The cat's getting old. He'll be 14 this summer. So I think maybe with age cats go a little wacky.

Swine Flu

I hope the swine flu doesn't get us. It seems strange that I hadn't even heard there was an outbreak a couple days ago and now it's the biggest fear on earth.

These things come and go. Killer bees. The cornflicker virus (was that what it was called?). Even the swine flu itself back when Ford was president. I got a shot then. I hope it's still good.

What to do about it? At this point, nothing I guess. Just listen for the updates and take cover if it gets near.

Father's Day 1990

I needed to find out a while ago what the actual date for Father's Day was.

I was going through some old records that I'm transferring from paper to the computer and I had two different dates in there for Father's Day that year. June 13 and June 17.

Well, thank goodness for the internet. You might not think it'd be a useful site that someone has to find out when the various holidays were observed in any given year. But it does come in handy in those rare cases when someone needs to know.

I wonder how many hits a site like that gets. It's good information to be able to find.

Of course I could've looked it up in an almanac. Get one of those perpetual calendars. We used to look at those all the time in school, like in the library. Look up the day we were born, etc.

Anoop and Lil

We said goodbye to Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds last night.

Not really sorry to see either one go, but Lil definitely had a lot of potential. Somehow she started stumbling and never regained her footing. I didn't think her performance was so bad, but the judges are the experts at music and they were all over it.

As for Anoop, he's just blah. Not interesting in the slightest ... although he can sing, if just plain old singing is what you want.

So that leaves, going by memory, Danny, Allison, Kris, Matt, Adam (of course), and I guess that's it. Did we start with seven last night? I believe so.

Of these, Danny can sing but is as boring as wallpaper. Allison is a real talent. Kris isn't my cup of tea but knows what he's doing. Matt shouldn't have been saved. And Adam is it. He has to be the winner. If he doesn't win, as I believe I've already said, I'll never watch the show again. I'm not a huge fan of the slow anguished songs, but he does them well.

It'll be nice when it's over.

Adam Lambert Last Night

Adam did "If I Can't Have You" for disco night.

He didn't do it with the usual disco style, but did another of his 'standing in one spot with the lights all subdued, with funky anguish' for his style.

I love the guy. And I was glad the judges loved the performance. But I didn't love it. It's good though if it gets him through. I prefer liveliness and not anguish.

Where'd The Pirates Go?

I haven't heard from the pirates in the last few days. They're still out there, right?

This isn't like the shark attacks just before 9/11, all of whom quit attacking as soon as 9/11 happened, is it? Or do they go in cycles like biorhythms? Check the Sol-Lunar calendar in the newspaper to see if it's a good day for pirates.

A decent pirate really needs to find one of those time/space warps and buzz back to a bygone era. Then they're back there with a modern ship, destroying everything in their path, collecting booty. Unfortunately, since they're like bulls in a china shop, they wouldn't have all the usual time travel scruples about changing history. So they'd be killing all their rival buccaneers, and whoever those folks' descendants are would be disappearing left and right.

But think of the booty, for them, and for us. Anyone who disappeared, we could run over and steal their stuff, since it turned out they never really existed anyway. It's like piracy without a victim!

My One Book

The one book I bought at the book sale the other day, I'm actually reading from.

It is "The Complete Poems of Sir Walter Scott," and like I said somewhere, I started reading "The Lady of the Lake." I made it through the first canto (out of 6). Then this morning, guess what, I finished the second. So this is great progress.

I'm glad I read the synopsis at Wikipedia, because I might have gotten a little lost in some of the obscurity of what's going on. For instance, I wouldn't have guessed that James Fitz-James (I think his name is) is the king (incognito) that everyone's very ambivalent about. And some are opposing.

And calling people by names like "The Douglas" and "The Graeme" doesn't come natural to me, but I'm starting to get it.

What's The Laziest Color?

The laziest color in relation to what?

Like for a background color. Maybe light brown. Light brown seems like the biggest hillbilly color. It's rustic, like the wall of an old cabin. It's the oldest color, like in making pictures look antique, sepia. It's the color that makes you most tired, just because it's so down home. An easy chair often has a light brown frame. The chairs in an old cabin become light brown.

Green is a big color these days but it's not lazy. The whole environmental thing. Everyone wants to "Save the Earth" for some unknown reason. I guess so we'll have a place to live. It might be a big rip off, though -- who knows? Because I'm halfway afraid to trust big companies who want to "Go Green." I think I could tear off the mask and see the executives cackling with delight. While out in back the devil laughs as their sewage floods the world.

I do what I can to not go out of my way to muck up the planet. But I don't run around crowing about how "green" I am.

We've had a lot of blue skies. But you have to get out and enjoy it, because it gets dark every night. Can't make up its fool mind.

All Oystered Out

I just finished an enormous bowl of homemade oyster stew.

An entire can of oysters, two cups of milk, the few other things it takes. Now it's time to just sit back, loosen my belt, and wait for the rush. Oysters do something to my mind. But I'm being brave tonight. Almost went for half a can, but then wondered when I might ever get to the other half if I saved it in the fridge. Don't want them to go bad.

It's very good, though. If you like it.

My Book Sale Day

Ho ho ho! I'm really changing. At least for a while I am. It really happened.

I've been trying to downsize, but it's hard. I got rid of a few boxes of stuff, books mostly. I've always been voracious on accumulating them, and everything else for that matter.

There's an annual book sale near where I live. And guess what, I didn't go when it opens, when the good stuff is there, when the people are clamoring at the door, grabbing and scarfing everything up. I normally like being there early, of course, but I don't like to see people just piling them wholesale into boxes and throwing coats over them. I've had to do it a time or two myself, regrettably.

This year I skipped it. Just let it pass. I knew it was coming. I knew the time was at hand. I felt a slight tug but resisted it. And that was that.

Then today, after everything was picked over by collectors and eBay resellers and all the rest, I went by. It was peaceful and calm. Even in a situation like this, I would normally get a box and fill it, maybe two or three boxes. But today I resisted that as well. I went through and bought ... only one book!

One book. That's never happened before.

Susan Boyle

Susan Boyle, of the You Tube video fame, is a very good singer. It was fun watching her, even not knowing any of the back story or rules of the show or anything.

But it's odd in my way of thinking that nobody had any clue that she was good. Is the show just a show where anyone can walk up and do things? Doubtful. So it's obvious she had to pass some kind of audition to be allowed on stage.

The judges, including Simon Cowell (the guy gets around), seemed truly surprised that she was good. Why, exactly, I don't know. The outside of the body doesn't have that much to do with it. Singing has to do with the throat and nobody knows what the arrangement down there is like till you've heard it.

I hope she knows plenty of songs -- assuming the show is one where she's back over and over -- because she'll probably need them.

It's April 15!

April 15 is a day I hate to see roll around. But usually it's because I'm busily trying to get my taxes done. Although I don't usually wait till the actual 15th.

This year I tackled the situation on April 10, last Friday. Mine are simple enough that it only took me the morning. But I take a little longer because I double- and triple-check everything. I don't trust myself on simple arithmetic.

And it's always a great feeling to put it all away, take the envelopes to the post office, and be done with it.

I see some right wing wackos are out protesting today about taxes being too high. Hmm, they went down, as I recall. I wonder if they used any public services on their way to the protest. I wonder if there's any security there. I wonder if their kids are in school. Oh, that's right! They want it to be like in the Bush years: Just charge all that with deficit spending and let future generations worry about the bill!

Black Oak Arkansas

I had a sudden flash of a memory today, out of the blue, that the rock group Black Oak Arkansas gave away deeds to a square inch of land in Arkansas a long time ago.

Whether I ever owned one of these deeds, I don't have 100% recall. I know I've had their albums over the years, even though I wasn't such a huge fan. I liked some things, like whatever they played on the radio.

I looked it up on the internet and sure enough, others remember this. The way I remember it was with all the musing about what you are supposed to do with one square inch of land and whether anyone actually ever showed up to check out their property. Probably someone.

It's fascinating in the same way that you can name stars after yourself or others for a fee. Except with the land, you really could go there, especially if your square inch is near a border with public access. I could just lay there and look at my land, maybe dig in it and see if any worms are trespassing, or, to be nice about it, legitimately tending the soil for me.

Al Franken Wins Again

With all the times Al Franken has won the Minnesota Senate race, he ought to be in the Senate for six or seven terms.

He keeps being declared the winner, and the sore loser, Norm Coleman, keeps appealing. Or fiddling around. Or something. It's hard to keep track of. But he's already said he's going to appeal to the Supreme Court and any higher Universal Court out there somewhere if they can find one. Anything but to allow democracy to work, since it's been our impression for a number of years that it's the candidate who gets the most votes who is actually the winner.

The Republicans clearly don't believe in that version of democracy, since they've been talking about stretching this out for years. Which is kind of weird, because usually they try to let on that they don't like trials, lawyers, the court system, all that ... activist judges, whatever. But if a Democrat wins the race, suddenly they believe in going full bore ahead with whatever it takes to overturn the result.

Trolls Like To Guard Their Turf

A troll would be a good football player, because they guard turf. The trolls' downfall is they're too much in conversation and not enough into actually eating their victims.

I'm thinking of the original story -- of which there are several national ones, if I have it right -- of the three billy goats gruff and the troll under the bridge. From this I get the message that trolls are more jealous of guarding their turf than they are of having an actual meal.

When it comes to eating, they're holding out for the biggest possible, which is just another way of saying turf guarding is also their obsession when it comes to meals. You figure they want the biggest portion but just to have a bigger portion than anyone; they can't eat it because then it'd be gone. Yet trolls have not wasted away from famine.

The first goat comes by, fine to eat as far as I'm concerned. But "You don't want to eat me. I am so small and bony. You should wait for my big brother. He is much meatier." The goat passeth over the bridge.

The second comes with the same reasoning. There's at least one bigger, meatier brother. But the third is not about to be eaten. You need to settle for one of the first two goats, and as for me, either one is as good as the other. I always prefer the first because the second is my insurance policy, my fallback. It's better to have and not need than to need and miss.

Bacteria Gone Wild

I can't get out of my mind all the images I see of bacteria on TV. Like how they say your kitchen is more polluted with bacteria than is your toilet. The bad thing about this truth is that we do most of our food preparation in the kitchen. So there they are, unseen, unheard, but lurking...

I need a visor and some lens with super power to see them all ganged up right there in the open, doing their work brazenly, in the certain knowledge that no one can bring them down. Well, with poison maybe, except it keeps the strongest as survivors and eventually leads to a super strain of mutant, unstoppable bacteria. That's what happens when you use too much athlete's foot spray. You think the bacteria's gone but they're just biding their time till they carry you off in the night, feet first.

With a visor and the lens we would be in a position to videotape bacteria and warn the rest of the world before it's too late. We'll call our production "Bacteria Gone Wild," and show how brazen they are. Lifting their shirts, sticking their tongues out, drunk and wild.

Prairie Belt Smoked Sausage

It's a big world and I'm sure there's lots of things I haven't seen. Here's one of them, till just a couple days ago. I was back at this store today and decided to get a can. I still haven't opened it. Might be good.

It's definitely a funky label, like from the days of Leave It To Beaver. You see a label like that and it suggests many things. Such as why so old looking? Is that the best way to sell smoked sausage? To me it looks like something that time forgot. But I assume the sausages inside were recently alive. The expiration date on the bottom is in 2011.

I was thinking it reminded me of one of the strange products in the National Lampoon Sunday Newspaper parody. But I looked and this isn't as strange as those.

GOING TO OPEN IT - OK, I'm going to open it. This will mean going to the kitchen and getting a plate and some water. So ... I'm pausing here ...

There were seven little sausages, the same height as the can. They have the appearance of normal weiners, just smaller. I put three of them on a plate and ate them. They weren't real pleasant to eat, not a taste or consistency of meat that appeals to me. I can't see myself buying these again.

They're Giving Pirates A Bad Name

All those lovable pirates we used to hear about. Well, I'm sure they weren't lovable in real life, but in the story books they had a certain charm.

I've got an album by William Bendix, which I could listen to if I wanted. It's called "William Bendix Sings and Tells Famous Pirate Stories," put out on Cricket Records in 1959. He tells the stories of Blackbeard, Henry Morgan, Jean Lafitte, and Captain Kidd. I've heard it before but really can't tell you a thing about any of those pirates. Except Henry Morgan has a fairly boring name for a pirate. Henry Morgan sounds like an accountant. But you know, pirates are always counting out their doubloons and keeping track of how many dead men there are on a chest, so maybe Henry Morgan did have some accounting experience.

They were not likely that lovable, but once they get to the stories they are. And now we have actual pirates on the high seas who aren't lovable and are giving the true pirates of lore a bad name. So that's no good. Holding ships hostage, the captain of a ship, whatever. It's disgusting. We ought to be able to beat these people. Like when we see them going along, bomb them. That ought to stem some of this. The old pirates had it easier. They didn't have planes and bombs back then. I wouldn't want to be a pirate now.

Mary Jane Candy

I never heard of this candy. Again, I'm amazed that there can be candy that I haven't heard of. And I don't mean in India or Sri Lanka or Mongolia. Right here in the United States!

I went to the Dollar General store, wanting some candy. I looked at the candy and found something called Mary Jane. It's "Original Mary Jane," so maybe it's an old timer. I has a retro kind of label with a cute little girl. The candy's good! It doesn't smell the best -- at first -- but it tastes great.

It says it's made with molasses and real peanut butter. It's kind of like candy kisses but with a slightly different taste. The manufacturer is Necco, of the little wafers fame, so it's not a fly by night place.

Good stuff. Just makes me wonder ... what else is there I've never seen?

Obama In Iraq

President Obama is overseas and he made a "surprise visit" to Iraq. I wish I would've predicted that the other day. I didn't think of it, to be honest, but just a little thought would have suggested the likelihood.

Anytime you have a president overseas, the chances that he's going to drop in on the soldiers in Iraq should be a given.

Remember that time that Obama was overseas and he didn't go visit the troops because the Defense department said he shouldn't? He was reamed out royally by that by McCain, who also, by the way, reportedly had a companion ad to ream him out royally if he did go visit them. It's kind of one of those selective outrage things that liars like to do.

Well, suck on this, McCain. Now he's president and he can visit or not visit any old way he sees fit. It's nice to have power, huh? To have the Bush criminals out of the way who were using the Defense department in a political way in those terrible years.

Bush started this "surprise visit" stuff to Iraq. But every time he did it, it was for Bush's advantage. The guy didn't care a bit about the troops. It's nice to see Obama over there though. Finally someone we can trust.

Ringo And Paul

The big disadvantage the Beatles had is that each member was so well known. You get some groups from the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and no one really knows their names, or the average person doesn't. Like Herman's Hermits, the Dave Clark Five, the Platters, and so on. For groups in that category it doesn't matter if they're alive or dead, someone can own the name and go out on the road.

I've seen the Diamonds a couple times, and I think they have some relation to the actual group that recorded once upon a time. But when it comes to these Diamonds there might be a few carats missing. Who knows? They know, but what do I know? I never knew their names anyway.

The Monkees, basically everyone who knew anything about them knew their names. So you couldn't have Mike, Rick, Tim, and Fred as the Monkees and fool a lot of people.

Of course the Beatles are in that category. Even though there were other Beatles -- Pete Best is the one that comes to mind (Stu Sutcliffe, but he died a long time ago) -- there are only four Beatles that have or can have any relation to the group that we've all known and loved. And we know those four individuals intimately.

Paul and Ringo recently reunited for an event, something about raising money for Transcendental Meditation, it sounds like. They did some Beatles' songs, but there's no way they could get two other guys and call it the Beatles.

Anyway, nice to see they're still around!

Bang Bang Bang

I've got one of Lady Gaga's songs in my mind as a mind worm. I took a nap and woke up with this tune and words being repeated. "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich."

I'm thinking, "Bang, bang, bang, we're beautiful and dirty rich." The chorus goes on like that for a ways. Then there's a talking part. I can't think of the words but know the tune.

You know you're a CD that's been in mind when people wake up to you. And you're not even playing.

Lady Gaga's CD

I love Lady Gaga's CD, "The Fame." I've had it for around three weeks. At first I was just listening to bits of it on my Ipod at the exercise place. My headphones are not the greatest. It's hard to hear things beyond a tinny and superficial way. So I wasn't getting into the CD.

But the last couple days, I put the actual CD on, and while I've been working on other projects, I just let it play. I've listened to it six or seven times and love it. I'm definitely getting familiar with the songs beyond just the two (so far) hits.

The two big hits (so far) are "Just Dance" and "Poker Face." For these two, I have heard them on the radio. But I don't listen to the radio so much that I get sick of things. They are both excellent.

The other songs (there are 12 others) are great too. Among my favorites are "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich," "Boys Boys Boys," "Brown Eyes," and "I Like It Rough." But I actually like all the songs. The CD speeds by and it all hangs together in a nice way.

"Brown Eyes" is the softest song and a pretty one. "Boys Boys Boys" is the funnest song, just for the sake of fun. "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" starts off three songs about money and fame, including also "The Fame" and "Money Honey." Lady Gaga even says she's into "material," so she might be called the New Material Girl. But I hope not.

Old Class Notes

I've been digitizing some of my old papers and then shredding them. Including trivial stuff like term papers and class notes.

I have these class notes that I diligently took and I hate to just lose them forever. There's a lot of good information there ... if I can make it out ... and decipher some of my abbreviations. A few of them I'm having a hard time even remembering the teacher's name, but most of them have it somewhere.

I have a few "blue books," that we had to do essay tests in. One was interesting. I remembered doing it after seeing it again. It was one of those days when I couldn't be there for some reason. I probably made arrangements with the professor. So I had to show up and take the test by myself. He put me in the office of another professor, who must have been away. So for the first couple pages I have it handwritten like normal. But then the rest I typed it on the professor's typewriter, and even made a little notation there for my professor when he was grading it.

It looked a lot better to type it. I can type fast. So the answer looks fuller and clearer, although I didn't actually reread it. Got a good grade, so it must have been acceptable enough.

American Idol Last Night

Let's see, the low vote getter was someone named Megan Joy. I remember when they started her name was Corkney or Corker or something like that. But apparently she got a divorce and changed her name midstream so her husband's name wouldn't be attached to her too much. I'm guessing. I heard something about it.

Whether we actually remember her at all is probably what she's facing now. I don't believe I will remember her. I'll read this blog someday and think, "Who?" But she was an American Idol contestant once upon a time. Just like three or four years ago. I'm drawing a blank except for Taylor Hicks and the ones who were the first several runners up. But whether I remember her or not doesn't matter. What matters is what she does from here on out. That is if she wants to have a career in music.

I missed her performance on Tuesday night. I just heard a snippet of it. But since the song she sang last night was a replay of Tuesday, that must have been it. Better or worse? That's what I want to know. Because last night was terrible.

Lady Gaga was there too and was amazing. I've never seen her in a performance. I have her CD, which is good, definitely in places. She might be called the new Material Girl in a way, since a few of the songs on the CD have to do with being rich and having lots of cool possessions. I like it pretty much. But I thought she was amazing on the show.

David Cook did a good job too belting out his new single. It's hard to believe it's only been four months since his CD came out. I have it too. I listened to it several times when I first got it but pretty much forgot about it. I liked it. I hate what they do, though, when they have a "hidden track," like on his album. They have this enormous blank spot, then his song begins. So I edited that out when putting the CD on my Ipod.

David Cook does a good job in performance. Being on Idol it was great to see him. But he sounds nearly anemic compared to my favorite this year, Adam Lambert. David definitely has a more traditional sound. Hopefully Adam will win. His style is great, wild, almost manic. I love it.

No April Fool's Jokes

No one tried any April Fool's jokes on me today. I wasn't overly wary, but I still thought about it this morning. If someone tells me something unbelievable, try to count to three before accepting it.

But it hasn't happened. Maybe we're moving past April Fool's jokes? I don't know. I know, say, 30 years ago it seemed like the rage. Parody editions of things. I haven't seen any today, although I haven't really been looking.

Maybe American Idol will do an April Fool's joke tonight and say Adam Lambert's in the bottom three. There's no way he will be of course (God forbid), but it would make an interesting April Fool's joke. I'm not going to believe it if it happens!

We used to do them at home when I was a kid. My mom even did. Then we did it with my kids too, like tell them they're late for school. I remember doing that once. But no one really likes April Fool's jokes. So I find myself not doing them anymore, and I hope everyone will pay me the same courtesy.