Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Unstoving Of The Stoves

I like hot water for washing my hands, the way my Grandma Steam used to make it.

She also wrote a column in the local paper, "All Steamed Up."

Then there was my Grandma Stove, whose column was a little more embarrassing, since it was, "All Stoved Up."

Her column was a lot longer because she was so stoved up. Except the times she couldn't think of much to say and was stoved up.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Back In The '60s

Everything was great back in the '60s.

The way I remember it, dogs didn't get sick and die back then. Even old cats could hold their food. Mothers were healthy. Fathers were alive.

Our biggest decision everyday was what happy thing to do next.

The grass always had the right amount of greenness and always grew to just the right length to be presentable and not need cutting.

The garbage truck belonged to the garbage man himself. There were no chains.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Car Surgery And Death

I had to get my car worked on a couple weeks ago. Tire problem. I didn't know I had a tire problem. I went in for an oil change. Then I asked them to give me my first of a "lifetime" of free tire rotations. It was then that a problem was discerned with one of the tires, having a "broken belt."

We were there for seemingly an interminable amount of time. Very --- not fun.

I was looking at the car back there, getting fixed by a mechanic in slow motion. It reminded me of people in the hospital.

The waiting room we were in was like the waiting room at the hospital, like in surgery. The doctor comes out every hour or so to tell you the progress he's making.

Finally, if things go badly, you're back in the room -- a hospice room now -- and they're telling you about the comfort measures. You just want to keep Dad comfortable, and the same of course with the car.

Wet his lips, put some salve on its grill every couple hours.

Monday, June 7, 2010

I Got A New Dehumidifier Today

The dehumidifier I had was one I essentially inherited. I didn't really know its vintage or provenance. (Pretty good word, huh?)

Maybe I had a bad attitude around it, or, since it's a dehumidifier, maybe my humor was too dry. Whatever, the stinking thing quit working.

Meaning, just like that I had to get a new one. So I went and got one. I got the biggest capacity they had, plus the one with the lowest temperature allowed, something like 42 degrees instead of the usual 65.

65 is ridiculous. Because if you use your air conditioner at all, which I do, of course in the basement it's going to dip below 65. But I hope this 42 degree one can get the job done without being too finicky.