Where'd The Pirates Go?

I haven't heard from the pirates in the last few days. They're still out there, right?

This isn't like the shark attacks just before 9/11, all of whom quit attacking as soon as 9/11 happened, is it? Or do they go in cycles like biorhythms? Check the Sol-Lunar calendar in the newspaper to see if it's a good day for pirates.

A decent pirate really needs to find one of those time/space warps and buzz back to a bygone era. Then they're back there with a modern ship, destroying everything in their path, collecting booty. Unfortunately, since they're like bulls in a china shop, they wouldn't have all the usual time travel scruples about changing history. So they'd be killing all their rival buccaneers, and whoever those folks' descendants are would be disappearing left and right.

But think of the booty, for them, and for us. Anyone who disappeared, we could run over and steal their stuff, since it turned out they never really existed anyway. It's like piracy without a victim!