Another 9/11 Would Perk The Republicans Up

We know the Republicans won't be happy with anything good that happens for America while Barack Obama is president.

They're against any positive legislation, against the Olympics, against the Nobel Peace Prize. We'll surely be hearing from them soon that Thanksgiving and Christmas should be canceled.

So what's it going to take to bring a rosy hue back to their cheeks? I think it would take something massive. Perhaps a terrorist strike. I'm sure they'd love that! The worse the better.

Then we'd be able to see Dick Cheney make one of his glorious appearances. Saying in his best Penguin voice, "Wah, wah, I told you so."

Another full blown, all out 9/11 attack would definitely pluck their heart strings -- we have to think -- and put a bounce back in their step.

Anything that is bad for America, that's what the Republicans want. You know they're rooting for worse unemployment numbers. They really are.

They'd love to see the stock market crash. The Black Plague would be good.

If somehow butterflies might be killed off just before spring and the swallows didn't return to Capistrano, that would be a plus.

Conservatives Don't Love Mary's Baby

I thought conservatives liked babies. Bundles of joy. Gifts from God. A miracle, each one. Five toes each foot. Fingers, also five each hand. And so forth.

Everything's good about a baby, except the stuff that's not good. Like the 3 a.m. feedings and all the diaper changes. Crying isn't that great. Bilirubin. Heat lamps.

But now they're criticizing Dick Cheney's daughter Mary for being pregnant. So it's not quite as good a miracle when the mother is a lesbian. One wrote:

I respect Dick Cheney, but I don't understand why he is allowing his daughter to take innocent children into her lesbianic home. Can anyone claim that these kids won't be scarred for life? So sad.

That makes it sound like she's adopting. But I checked around and I hadn't read it wrong. There's places that says she's adopting.

And as to Dick "allowing" his daughter to do anything, I believe she's an adult.

Go Cheney Go!

Come on, Dick, refuse to be silenced! These guys are just jealous of your abilities to tell it like it is! We still love you. You need to be out there telling it like it is.

You're the best hope the Republicans have. They will sink entirely without you. You and Rush. Keep on talking, please!