Mr. Food

We were at a restaurant and somehow got on the subject of Mr. Food, the lovable cook from local TV news. Since then I looked him up online and he's got quite a TV empire going, with something over 100 channels across the country, a full blown studio and everything that any guy would want.

That's interesting. I knew he couldn't be from around here, since everywhere I ever go I see him on TV. His catch phrase of "Ooh, it's so good" is also famous, his bread and butter, so to speak, and it's an officially registered "sound mark," according to his website. It says it's one of only 25 sound marks registered. Can that be? We have "sound marks" and somehow there's only 25? I need to register the one of me hollering downstairs to my wife to bring me a roll of toilet paper. "Hurry up, Mildred!"

Sorry for that little indiscretion. I'm obviously under the misconception that I'm being paid by the word here. When the fact is, I'm not being paid at all. Unlike Mr. Food, no doubt. 100 and some channels, 30 years, beloved cook, he has to be bringing in some big bucks. I hope he lasts another 30, but like everyone he can't go on forever. So that'll be a sad day.

The reason we were talking about him was I was imagining what if his name really was Mr. Food, like Samuel L. Food or something. And a lion escaped from the zoo and ate him. The headline would be, "Lion Eats Food," and everyone would go, Yeah, what do you expect them to eat?

But the lion in this case goes, "Ooh, it's so tough!"