Koi Ponds And Naughty Profiles

You know, on Twitter we ought to get the girls with their naughty profiles together with the guys selling koi fish ponds, a partnership.

Then whatever naughtiness the girls are engaging in, they have the beauty of a good koi fish pond in the background. It'd soften it, pretty.

Given the two, I'd probably look at the girls, but I'd rather BE with the fish. I know the fish haven't been out fooling around.

I'm in a follower race with a guy on Twitter named RatRaceTrap. Currently I have 4 and he has 13083 (seriously). He's getting complacent.

It'd be interesting to know how many of his 13083 followers sell koi ponds or have naughty profiles. I would guess he's going for numbers.

But say you had 13083 followers and you decided to prune them out. After the first week of constant work, you'd just forget it.

As soon as I do any project that involves thousands of whatever, I start figuring it out...if it takes me 34 seconds for each one, that's...

He's running a lot of quotes. That must be a life, poring over books all day looking for inspirational stuff. Good old Churchill and others.

One from today: "If we are together nothing is impossible..." Ho hum. Or "Things get worse before they get better." Tired stuff.

No offense to him. He's not saying it. These guys from the past, good for nothing but the quotes they first Twittered back then, said it!

I like the quotes by "Unknown," who I guess I could claim to be. "To get what you've never had, you must do what you've never done."

"To get what I've never had." I've never had syphilis. "You must do what you've never done." Ignore the koi ponds, turn to the girls? Ha ha.

I'm writing a book here. How come no one else jumps in? Am I the only one with something on my mind? Oh, right, it's an empty warehouse.

The Oyster Posts

Wanna have a mystical experience? Overdose on oyster stew.

Oyster stew gives me a buzz. I haven't had any junk for a month. Don't tell anyone, OK? Let's keep oysters legal.

Seriously, oysters are the new peyote. I went out in the wild and made some oyster stew over a campfire. I saw strange beings all night.

You ever heard of the merkabah vision of Ezekiel? It was oysters that did it. Babylonian oysters, the good stuff, very rare, black market.

I tried to enlist and go to the Iraq war, just to get closer to old Babylon. Risking my life for oysters. Didn't pass the physical.

The blood test of course is what did me in. I tested positive for oysters. And the weird thing is I hadn't had them for six months prior!

Picked Up My Guitar

I have some guitar playing I need to do coming up. No major gig, since I'm actually no good. But I'm good enough once in a while for groups of people to sing to. If I practice like crazy and have the music in the few chords that I know.

So I started working on it today, because I haven't played the thing for a month or so. It just sits there. And that means my fingers lose whatever minor callousing I had. So I was messing with it today. My guitar sounds bad because the strings are old. But I hate changing them.

I've been thinking of getting a new guitar. But I hate to spend the money right now. It's something I've been thinking about for over 10 years, so maybe in another 10 I'll get one!

I was working out the chords for a few songs. I had to essentially learn a few new chords, a couple anyway. And I still haven't quite got them. My fingers hurt and I'm making slow progress. But by the time I need to do it I'm sure I'll be good enough to stumble my way through.

It'd be great to be a good guitarist. I picked it up 40 years ago, was never any good. Then I made one giant leap somewhere along the way and could do the chords I know pretty well, hitting the bass string, all that. But after that giant leap I never made any more progress. Not that I work at it very hard. So that's probably the problem.

Have You Hugged Your Hog Today?

Well, have you?

Healthcare For Crotch-Related Injuries

Hunter at Daily Kos has a great post today about the Republicans' shenanigans.

It's all right on as far as lamenting their extremism and their weird insistence on stupidity as the best way forward for America. They somehow think trashing up everything and watching our nation go down the tubes is the best way to preserve our values. Type that in on your calculator and see what the answer is. It's less than zero.

But Hunter sees one ray of saving sunshine, the utter incompetence of the Republicans. We lamented their incompetence most recently for eight miserable years. But who knew that very incompetence might eventually save us all?

Hunter says:

I'd be afraid for the future of our country, but I know that if these people ever actually armed themselves and tried to take over they'd all have accidentally shot themselves in the groin within the first ten minutes. Then they'd all limp to D.C. to hold a rally demanding free government healthcare for crotch-related injuries.

True, true, true. Except they'd probably restart the whole cycle by blaming Bill Clinton for letting them keep their guns!

Republicans The Party Of Thugs

Pardon me for wondering if the Republicans have a death wish. Or are they simply thinking counter-intuitively?

But if your party becomes The Party of No, The Party of Failure, The Party of Rascism, is it a good thing to top it all off by becoming The Party of Thugs?

This disruption of public meetings by the shrill outbursts of crackpots and crazies ... like we saw in the rabble-rousing of the '08 campaign thanks to McCain and Palin ... is this the road to trust and electoral victory? What's next, Kristallnacht?

Let's say I wasn't already a Democrat. If I saw them disrupting meetings with all of it being coordinated by greater thugs at the top, believe me, that wouldn't be the party I'd want in power. These guys are bad news.

There was a story somewhere today that said the threats against President Obama's life have gone up 400%. Is this the Republicans' idea of a better America?

P.S. I don't see the logical connection between seceding from the Union and patriotism either. Help me out.

Fatigue

I'm getting very fatigue, as the French would say. I exercised vigorously tonight, listening to Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart's "It's All Happening On The Inside" LP (MP3s on my iPod.)

That has to be one of the best albums ever for exercise. It keeps me going fast and furious.

That worked me up a nasty sweat. That's been a couple hours and I don't feel terribly damp. But now I need to go mow the yard, and that will do me in ... with sweat.

Then it will be almost time for bed!

Without My Phone

Eeek, I went to the park with my dog. And when I got there I noticed I didn't have my phone.

That's a weird feeling these days. It used to be when we never even thought of having a phone to carry with us of course it was normal to be at the park without one. (Too obvious?)

But these days it's completely necessary, in my opinion, to have it right there ... just in case. Plus someone might be calling. But mostly I need it in case I need help or something.

So when I got home of course I wanted to find it.

Thoughts Bubbles At The Beer Summit

"Hmm, two black guys and Biden. At least we're not outnumbered."

Road To Somewhere

Trying to explain to people what road you're on can be tough. Especially these little county roads where you don't know the numbers.

It comes out by [a certain town.] But how can that be, someone wonders. Because in their mind they're thinking of a road three or four miles away.

There's a GPS up there somewhere but there's not one in people's heads. So it's a dispute.