John McCain Channels Dead Generals

This is hilarious. John McCain, who only wants to follow the advice of military leaders on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," ignores their advice if it's against the DADT policy. Meaning he has his opinion and credits it to the military leaders who agree with him. Why not just cut out the middle man and say it's his own opinion PERIOD?

Now he's got some big letter on the subject that's signed by a bunch of military leaders, some of whom are dead. One guy was dead when it was published, and his wife signed it for him. Jason Linkins at the Huffington Post article says he might get George Armstrong Custer's signature before long!

Why does John McCain need this kind of stuff? Is his life really so pathetic that he's reduced to channeling the dead to back up opinions he already has? Of course we remember the 2008 campaign. There's no depth he won't descend to to make a bad point. But the campaign's over, he could be a normal guy if he wanted.

On the other hand, he's not the brainiest guy in the world. He's the guy who thought Sarah Palin would make a terrific president ... IF ...

Cindy McCain

In the spirit of Cindy McCain's speech, I will try to type this post very slowly, very deliberately, with a good helping of lethargy. If I can draw it out, make it fairly dreary, and even stilted, I will know that I captured the sense of her presentation. But it's hard to do, since I've been a pretty good touch typist since 8th grade.

For the first time for me, she really looked like another Cindy, Cindy Brady. That was distracting to me, because I was thinking of the Brady Bunch most of the way through.

Besides that, the difference between Cindy's soft-focus, cliche-packed presentation and Gov. Palin's was stark. The crowd was into it, of course, but you couldn't say she blew the roof off the place, or she hit it out of the park. She hit a pleasant double and finally stood on base without scoring. She even used the baseball metaphor, about her husband, saying, "I hit a home run with John McCain," in snagging him away from his first wife. That's what I was thinking of, then as well when she got into his honesty and integrity and in what a superlative father he's been. I suppose if you have enough families you eventually get it right!

For the most part, it was a thoroughly Republican presentation. Puffy, bloated, riddled with chromosome-challenged moments.

Carter: McCain "Milking" POW Story

Jimmy Carter is a wise, wise man. He declares that McCain has been "milking every possible drop of advantage" from his time as a POW.

This has been obvious, but it's great to hear someone as wise as Carter saying it.

On the other hand, think of McCain. He had 5½ years when he wasn't able to milk things, so maybe he does have a right to milk it now.

But as for the benefits McCain's getting from the story, let him milk it because that old teat's going dry!

Not Rich Till $5 Million Income

Here's our first kick rating. We could pick no better (worse) a recipient than the always deserving John McCain.

We're going to be merciful on this one because there was an element of joking in his answer. But he probably deserves an extra kick simply because of all the joking, since these are serious issues and serious issues ought to be addressed once in a while in a serious way. We're quite sick of McCain joking about everything. When does the guy get serious? Oh yeah, when Georgia's in trouble. But if America's in trouble, he's nothing but laughs.

Yet mercy shall prevail on this, our first kick rating. McCain, in a question on who's rich, expressed his opinion that you need an income of $5 million to be considered rich in America. So $4 million wouldn't qualify.

OK, how can the average guy relate to McCain, since we all know average incomes are well below $2 million a year? With an answer like this, McCain shows himself to be an out of touch elitist. For that reason, we approach McCain's wrinkly butt and swiftly apply three well deserved kicks. Count them as the foot makes contact with his bottom: 1 - 2 - 3. Not one over, not one under. Justice deserved, justice served.

Feingold Praises McCain

Come on, Russ Feingold! Get your head out of there! It's bad for your posture, and, anyway, toilet paper's not that expensive.

Who's the Elitist?

Good quote from Ed Rollins on McCain's attempt to paint Obama as some kind of elitist:

"It's a nice try, but he's not an elitist. That's not a sustained campaign tactic. Here was someone who grew up with nothing versus the son of four-star admirals. It's a nice try and a good diversion in the first part of August, but painting him as an elitist is not a winning strategy going into the fall."

Someone who grew up with nothing ... versus ... the son of four-star admirals.

Flat Tires: This Is Too Easy!

We've died and gone to Gaffe-Heaven today, thanks to John McCain.

The McCain campaign (seriously) has come out in favor of flat tires for greater fuel efficiency. All these years everyone's had it wrong, thinking that the manufacturer's recommended air pressure in tires was the right way to go. Barack Obama, along with others, pointed that that fuel efficiency is dependent on proper maintenance of your car, including tires.

John McCain begs to differ. He ridicules the idea that air in tires is necessary at all. And he should know, having been there when they invented the wheel. The wheel back in those far off days didn't have any air at all, being a stone. Like in the BC comic strip, perhaps it was a unicycle, or as in the Flintstones, perhaps it was a wide design. In each case it was unmistakeably stone. No air.

How did we get so far from "the old ways?" John McCain properly laments. And this is true.

What is called for now is obvious, that we should let the air out of our tires and drive on them. The principle has been stated. All McCain supporters should follow this advice immediately. If we see you driving around with air in your tires, we'll know you don't agree with him. Let's see your support!

Image by Phrenry

At least the caption is, by phrenry at Daily Kos.

Presumptuous Messiah!

If I'm McCain I'm not going there. Setting himself up as a new Messiah and belittling Obama as some kind of Messiah-wannabe.

McCain needs to cut out the attacks on religion, his mockery of religion. We know that McCain has called religious leaders the "agents of intolerance," that he is having a hard time getting the enthusiastic support of people of faith, and that he himself doesn't go to church. (Although, it seems, he, at the impressionable age of 71 or 72 was thinking about getting baptized! How convenient to wait till an election year to "get religion"!)

Who can look at this presumptuous picture and not see what he's suggesting? Perhaps something touching on the Rapture doctrine. Help from Heaven in him. John McCain as the second coming, the Prince of Peace!

The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:2,6)

John McCain is treading some dangerous ground, holy ground, when he starts ransacking the religious traditions to make his cheap political points. He is not the second coming, mark that well! He offers peace and suggests staying in Iraq a hundred years and more wars. That's "peace, peace" where there is no peace.

McCain's Vacuous Support of Britneyesque Policies

Great minds think alike!

The Commander in Chief Test

John McCain doesn't pass the test. Not even the laugh test. This is a funny video, with insights!

John McCain's in the Store

Joe Average carefully puts on his suit before heading out for grocery shopping. He wants to look his best because you never know when a photo op might break out.

As he walks the aisles, he's amazed at everything he sees, and comments on it, "This is like an entire building full of food." Everyone does that, right? "So this over here is the fruit and these are the vegetables? Interesting."

Then Mr. Average notices another average family out to do their shopping. Instead of ignoring them, he sidles up to accompany them through the store. They're OK with this bizarre behavior. Except in the picture it looks like she's hoping to lose him somewhere near the mustard and relish. But he hangs on.

There's some friendly chit chat, very small talk, perhaps comparing prices and the sizes of the items, looking out for cameras. Just keeping it real.

From One Whiner to Another

McCain thinks we're "a nation of whiners," as in 'that's a bad thing.'

So what's he doing whining about the coverage he's been getting the last week? Yes, Obama is overseas doing the whole world tour thing, which McCain and the Republicans wanted, if you will recall. He's probably going to get coverage.

John McCain, resigned to what an adviser memorably called “table scraps” of news coverage this week, has blasted a fundraising e-mail to supporters arguing that the press has “a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama.”

Oh, please focus your attention on McCain! Who has nothing to say and nothing to promise, unless you consider a continuation of the Bush years a promise. More like a threat.

Catch This -- McCain on Birth Control

He's in something of a bind, I would guess. He doesn't want to cheese off the radical right by seeming to support birth control. And he doesn't want to act like he knows too much about Viagra (heh heh). And yet obviously birth control and reproductive choices are of interest to Americans. So he plays the old "I know nothing" card, and looks positively clueless in the process!

And how do you like the uncomfortable rocking back and forth? The man's body language is screaming.

A McCain Victory No Matter What

Hey, you remember how we had the Iraq war going along? Lots of senseless violence and terrible misery all those years? And our government was telling us it was going great? Then when it came time for "the surge," suddenly they admitted that it hadn't been going great then, but now with "the surge" a lot of important benchmarks would be met and we would make progress. But then, as before "the surge," when the benchmarks weren't met they told us again that things were going great. That's where we are today.

Back before, things weren't going great but they were. And now things aren't going great but they are. (Caution: If you choose to believe these people, don't be surprised when you later find out they were lying.)

John McCain is banking his presidential hopes on this very thing. Even if the war's not going great, he's going to say it is. No matter what. And by the time everyone realizes he was wrong again (or lying), you see, the election will be over.

So here's the point of my post today: Let's say John McCain loses the election by five points. Because he sees everything as going great even when it's not, he will think he won. You see? If he wins, he wins. If he loses, in his mind he still wins!

Great Obama Energy Ad

Taking the fight to Bush -- er, I mean McCain. I keep getting those two guys mixed up. Weren't they like joined at the hip till just recently?

John McCain "Aware of" Internet

Anyone remember George Bush the First's experience at grocery stores? He went there for a visit and was amazed that food was sold, that it was stacked on shelves, that people came through with carts, then purchased it. He was dizzy from excitement, actually, when they showed him that items could be scanned as they were being rung up for the total bill.

Our current president, George Bush the Second, had some of the technical details messed up -- another intelligence failure -- when he spoke of The Google and the internets. He had a good excuse, though, living in a bubble. When you're in a bubble your biggest concern is with the bubble bursting and letting in whatever you're trying to avoid in the first place.

Now we have John McCain. McCain might be our last dinosaur, so I suppose we ought to treat him nicely. He's from a bygone era, recently wheeled out of a nursing home somewhere to make mischief for the country. And of course he has that whole throwback feel, like Gnarls Barkley's song "Crazy" or that great new song by Duffy, "Mercy." I'm not saying McCain is "crazy," but I am saying I don't plan on showing the old duffer any "mercy." Yee hah! You goin' down, boah. We don't much like yer kind 'round here!

John McCain was asked recently the most important question in the world, whether he's a Mac or PC? He took the middle course, saying, "Neither." Then he begged off on the question, saying he was illiterate in these matters. "No speak techese."

Well, nothing can be left alone for five seconds without an aide jumping in to defend the boss. You see this in saying what they really meant, how, yes, Poland was still an iron curtain country and Mr. Ford knew that all along.

The McCain aide of the day was Mark Soohoo, who gave this reassuring comment, "John McCain is aware of the Internet. This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues." I don't suppose there's much skepticism over this comment. I'm willing to accept it as a fact that John McCain is "aware of" the internet.

This just in -- other things that John McCain is "aware of":

• Walkman cassette players
• Color TV
• Running boards on cars
• Automatic transmission
• Eight slice toasters
  

Compare McCain and Obama's Responses to Disaster

Lashe, posting at Daily Kos, put together a very telling photo essay on our two main choices for president.

John McCain clearly made the better choice. As Hurricane Katrina raged and the government sat idly by, he knew that it was President Bush's birthday and that a birthday is best celebrated with a nice cake. McCain is a wise man, and, as we see here, very generous.

Barack Obama, on the other hand, when faced with massive flooding, took a shovel and pitched in, helping fill sandbags. But, we ask, what are a few sandbags in the face of such a great challenge? Clearly, very little.

Look at it in perspective: A presidential birthday only comes once a year. But we have so many disasters we don't know what to do with them all; we have to give them names to keep track!

John McCain for President. He doesn't forget birthdays.

Four More Years!

George Bush, er, I mean, John McCain gives Iraq a blank check in terms of money and time. If it takes a hundred years, that's OK. It's "not too important" if we ever bring the troops home and end the war. Four more years! 100 more years!

Worst Person? How About Best Person?

I thought Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" was a headscratcher tonight. Neil Cavuto of Fox, the worst person, because he thinks it would be good for John McCain to explode and show us a real honest-to-God temper tantrum.

How does that make him worst? I think that should make him best. Because I can't think of anything I'd love to see more than exactly that, John McCain uncorked, John McCain unplugged, John McCain melting down. Except, in all truthfulness, I don't want it to come in time for the Republicans to substitute another candidate in his place. Maybe just a few eruptions of a milder sort, then some positive strokes to him for those, then when it's too late let him go totally ballistic, the China syndrome of tempers.

We need to keep John McCain in the public eye as much as possible. Of course his handlers want to keep him in the green room, backstage somewhere, put him out there for events and get him off stage before he goes red, steam out the ears, teeth asnarl, and losing it. I want him to lose it, to lose it good, to lose it big, simply to explode in such a way that he ends up a smoldering ruin.

I hate Fox News, but today's best person in the world is Neil Cavuto!