Are We Really This Stupid?

Are we really this stupid, that we believe random emails smearing someone about what their religion is, whether they're a patriot, etc., over what the person himself says and what verifiable facts prove?

You'd like to think democracy has something to do with a well-informed electorate.You'd like to think that facts have some standing versus smears and lies. You'd like to think that people know enough to check out the information they're fed. You'd like to think that people are thinking.

The things we've heard of the last few years haven't given us much confidence. A big example was that a large percentage of Americans thought Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11 and no amount of proof to the contrary was able to sink in. And another example would be the 23% of Americans who still think George Bush is doing a good job.

What causes this? We have a pretty good educational system, I guess. It seemed OK when I was in school. And everyone's supposed to go to school. We hope they pick up something there as to how to reason for themselves.

Diary Rescue

Being ever on the lookout for really funny things, occasionally our vigilance is rewarded. I want to recommend this diary at Daily Kos for fun reading.

It's called "Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable." By its title, the author seems to be suggesting that people can disagree without being disagreeable. But that's not what you get once you get into it. The tone is quite disagreeable!

There's some strange assumptions and quite a bit of disputing that make it very humorous indeed.

Beyond Shame

This is hilarious. Two of the most disgraced lawmakers in history in terms of sex scandals and violating their own marriage vows, Larry Craig and David Vitter, co-sponsoring the so-called "Marriage Protection Amendment."

You really have to admire the brashness, the courage. These losers would've been sent to Exile Island and shunned forever in a bygone era. And not that long ago they would've slunk off -- kind like Mark Foley -- never to be heard from again. But not today. They're very much "in your face," with zero shame.

The amendment, by the way, would amend the U.S. Constitution to prohibit homosexual marriage. We'll excuse Vitter here and train our focus on Larry Craig: That's right, we're looking right at you, Stupid.

Public Urination

I haven't seen this in a while. We're getting in our car after being out to eat. We're sitting there for a minute before taking off. And a guy with no shirt and about half a beer belly walks by in front of the car. I'm saying something like, "Welcome to civilization, dude," and my wife is saying, "No shoes, no shirt, no service -- oh, I see you've got shoes," because we thought he was about to go into the store there -- Dollar General.

But instead of going into the store, he went merrily up to the bucket in the corner by the door -- the bucket where people are to put cigarettes -- unzipped his pants and stood there and peed!

We're back here not believing it. He's not looking around. He appears to be right at home in the privacy of his own bathroom. That takes guts.

John McCain "Aware of" Internet

Anyone remember George Bush the First's experience at grocery stores? He went there for a visit and was amazed that food was sold, that it was stacked on shelves, that people came through with carts, then purchased it. He was dizzy from excitement, actually, when they showed him that items could be scanned as they were being rung up for the total bill.

Our current president, George Bush the Second, had some of the technical details messed up -- another intelligence failure -- when he spoke of The Google and the internets. He had a good excuse, though, living in a bubble. When you're in a bubble your biggest concern is with the bubble bursting and letting in whatever you're trying to avoid in the first place.

Now we have John McCain. McCain might be our last dinosaur, so I suppose we ought to treat him nicely. He's from a bygone era, recently wheeled out of a nursing home somewhere to make mischief for the country. And of course he has that whole throwback feel, like Gnarls Barkley's song "Crazy" or that great new song by Duffy, "Mercy." I'm not saying McCain is "crazy," but I am saying I don't plan on showing the old duffer any "mercy." Yee hah! You goin' down, boah. We don't much like yer kind 'round here!

John McCain was asked recently the most important question in the world, whether he's a Mac or PC? He took the middle course, saying, "Neither." Then he begged off on the question, saying he was illiterate in these matters. "No speak techese."

Well, nothing can be left alone for five seconds without an aide jumping in to defend the boss. You see this in saying what they really meant, how, yes, Poland was still an iron curtain country and Mr. Ford knew that all along.

The McCain aide of the day was Mark Soohoo, who gave this reassuring comment, "John McCain is aware of the Internet. This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues." I don't suppose there's much skepticism over this comment. I'm willing to accept it as a fact that John McCain is "aware of" the internet.

This just in -- other things that John McCain is "aware of":

• Walkman cassette players
• Color TV
• Running boards on cars
• Automatic transmission
• Eight slice toasters
  

What Is Life?

Milwaukee Anthropologist - blog link.

The Magazine of the Liberal Arts for General Audiences

Contents: Life demands reconsidering physicalism as dogma by Louis Berger; Creating a formula for an efficacious life: A view of a cultural anthropologist by Jill Florence Lackey; Life has purpose by Christopher Poff; Life offers us opportunities by Greg Bird; Fascinating by Michael Timm; Musings on information, a speculative essay by Michael Timm.

Warning: Has lots of big words, but it also has some small ones.

Free Quarters

I haven't been to Quiznos very much, two times in my whole life. So I don't know the way it is there exactly all the time yet. But I was there last night and I was surprised by something by the cash register.

You know how there's a little cup up there, various places, pretty often, and it has pennies in it? Well, this is the first time I've seen quarters in the cup. A few pennies, a nickel, and three quarters. I'm thinking various things about that. Who are these generous people who just toss their change in the cup? How much money seriously can you withdraw from the cup? If there's enough in the cup can I pay for an entire Flat Sammie out of it? What is the cup/change code of honor in all round terms? Should I check my pockets for change before concluding I need to go to the cup?

If we have another couple years' inflation, can we expect to see dollar bills in the cup? Fives? Tens?

If someone takes too much might they not have to put the cup over on the shelf? And eventually have a robber come in and say, "Just gimme the penny cup, and be quick about it!"

Compare McCain and Obama's Responses to Disaster

Lashe, posting at Daily Kos, put together a very telling photo essay on our two main choices for president.

John McCain clearly made the better choice. As Hurricane Katrina raged and the government sat idly by, he knew that it was President Bush's birthday and that a birthday is best celebrated with a nice cake. McCain is a wise man, and, as we see here, very generous.

Barack Obama, on the other hand, when faced with massive flooding, took a shovel and pitched in, helping fill sandbags. But, we ask, what are a few sandbags in the face of such a great challenge? Clearly, very little.

Look at it in perspective: A presidential birthday only comes once a year. But we have so many disasters we don't know what to do with them all; we have to give them names to keep track!

John McCain for President. He doesn't forget birthdays.

By All Means, Don't Drill

"President Bush called yesterday for lifting the 27-year-old ban on U.S. offshore oil drilling, joining Sen. John McCain in endorsing an idea that Republicans hope will gain traction in Congress and on the campaign trail as the price of gasoline soars." Link.

If Bush is for it, there must be something wrong with it. It'll be a disaster whatever it is. By all means, please do not drill!

Duh.

In the beginning the word was "Duh." Duh was in the beginning when we didn't know anything, couldn't put two thoughts together. They said, "Is your didy dirty?" And you bore witness to the truth with a simple "Duh."

This brings us to Tennessee Democrat, former state Rep. Fred Hobbs, who thought Barack Obama "may be terrorist-connected." He has now apologized for his statement, and said his comments "did reflect questions I had after what I had seen reported on Fox News, but I should have taken some time to check the accuracy of what I saw on television before speaking publicly."

Duh.

Links: 1 and 2.

Sorely Tested

I had the pleasant experience of standing in line today. Not long lines, just being behind others who took longer than usual. Twice in a row. And in each case, once I got to check out myself I was able to proceed through quickly as normal.

This is something I try to be philosophical about. I've got this thing I keep thinking of, which is a variant of "Enjoy your depression." But apply it more broadly to all pain, suffering, inconvenience, etc. It's tough, but if you're mindful about it it allows you to have a pleasant look on your face, an attitude of patience. My only qualm about is that it might just be a variation of "Serenity Now," which, as we all know, means Insanity Later.

So there I am, la la la...at the thrift store as someone checks out with a few clothes items. This is one of the more complicated things to check out with, as prices vary, and no one is quite sure they want everything they've selected. It might be in the sack, then out of the sack as minds change. Plus, for some unknown reason, each item needs to be carefully folded by the check out person and lovingly put into the sack. Hangers removed, all that. Then slow chit-chat, then going for the money. And finally that person is through and I'm able to proceed through.

Next I'm at the video store to get a couple things. And I'm directly behind another person, whose situation is a little more complicated than mine. First, the check out person is on the phone with someone who must have a DVD out, has late fees, and it's gone to the collection agency. That is about over with as I'm getting to the check out. But the woman ahead of me, with a couple of sons, is wondering about her Super Saver Membership that she purchased a while back. It turns out it's expired, bringing up a debate about whether she should get another one for this year. She hems and haws about that for a while. Then it's time to check out her DVD. After she's done, one of the sons also needs to check out something. But he's not on the membership files for the store. So we need to get him entered into the computer and spell out the terms for him. And while you're at it, put my other son on the membership file too, so he can rent movies or games. "But he won't be able to charge things to me, will he?" No, but he'll be able to rent things as he pleases, and late fees may accrue, but he will have to pay for the things he rents at the time. Such a deliberate process!

Now they're gone, and finally it's my turn. Which is a normal transaction. Whip right through, a few seconds.

I'm busy thinking all this time about the whole philosophy I mentioned above. It's sorely tested but still intact as I pleasantly leave.

Childhood

Do you remember your childhood? I have several real memories of childhood that show it was a truly magical time. It's hard to explain, except you probably had something of it too. There was this persistent feeling, in certain places, that could be summed up like this: "It's always been like this. It'll always be like this."

There was a hill near my grandparents' home that had a little trail through some small trees, maybe 15 feet, then a part of the bank was caved in, leaving a gap of about five feet, then after that the trail continued for maybe another 10 feet. We would go through that path with every aspect of it memorized, slick spots on the trees from where we grabbed, and we could hit that hill part, grabbing a branch and propelling us on. Never an accident. When I think of that childhood thought of "It's always been like this. It'll always be like this," that's the first place I think of. I can still almost do it in my memory, but it's more vague.

It's a stretch probably, but if you've ever read Robert Johnson's book "He," (I think it is) this is almost one of those magical grail moments he mentions that you have as a child. I would like to bottle up that trail, that hill, and the rest of the trail and have it under glass. But, alas, it's gone. I've driven by there and it's definitely not there anymore. So the truth is, it won't always be like this.

Maybe someday when I'm being "drawn to the light" the path will be exactly like that!

Four More Years!

George Bush, er, I mean, John McCain gives Iraq a blank check in terms of money and time. If it takes a hundred years, that's OK. It's "not too important" if we ever bring the troops home and end the war. Four more years! 100 more years!

Goodbye, Lieberman

I hate long goodbyes. Make it fast, don't look back. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Like that.

I think we've found the mole!

This guy -- Joe Lieberman -- trusted enough in 2000 to be our vice presidential candidate (!) -- has shown his true colors by a sufficient enough revelation to be shown the door. The one we hope doesn't hit him on his way out.

We gave him the benefit of the doubt in 2000 when he appeared to be Dick Cheney's best friend forever at the debate. It was a sit-down, gentlemanly affair that left us wishing for a fighter not a lover.

But it was after the election of George W. Bush that Joe's true political feelings started coming out. No Republican is too bad for him. No Democrat is good enough.

Now he's against our nominee and supporting John McCain, and I believe I heard he's planning to speak at the Republican convention, out-Zelling Mr. Miller! What's next, a duel with Chris Matthews?

To the extent that we actually need him in the caucus, perhaps we need to keep him around. But let it be that at the earlier possible moment -- when his limited services are no longer needed -- that he is gone, kicked to the curb, sayonara, and don't write.

Worst Person? How About Best Person?

I thought Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" was a headscratcher tonight. Neil Cavuto of Fox, the worst person, because he thinks it would be good for John McCain to explode and show us a real honest-to-God temper tantrum.

How does that make him worst? I think that should make him best. Because I can't think of anything I'd love to see more than exactly that, John McCain uncorked, John McCain unplugged, John McCain melting down. Except, in all truthfulness, I don't want it to come in time for the Republicans to substitute another candidate in his place. Maybe just a few eruptions of a milder sort, then some positive strokes to him for those, then when it's too late let him go totally ballistic, the China syndrome of tempers.

We need to keep John McCain in the public eye as much as possible. Of course his handlers want to keep him in the green room, backstage somewhere, put him out there for events and get him off stage before he goes red, steam out the ears, teeth asnarl, and losing it. I want him to lose it, to lose it good, to lose it big, simply to explode in such a way that he ends up a smoldering ruin.

I hate Fox News, but today's best person in the world is Neil Cavuto!

Where Whispers Linger

Also on that list, my last post, there was one called "Where Whispers Linger." That sounds pleasant enough. The guy seems to post frequently, approximately 350 posts since last year. And just glancing through it seems thoughtful, interesting, very stream of consciousness-like, a little scattered, which is OK. It's everyone world, everyone can do their version of whatever.

I'm looking for the basic point of view, actually wanting to find out the guy's experience in church, since that's what he starts with. But he never gets to it. But no matter, advance, go on, skim, scan, let my eye race down, here, there, landing where? That Al Gore is an eco-terrorist? And the Democrats are somehow responsible for high gas prices? That's far enough. The Republicans have a hand in it because they act like Democrats?

Whoa. Let's see, we elect an oil man president ... and we elect an oil man vice president ... they have secret energy meetings with the oil companies ... and we're surprised that oil prices go up? It would be similar if we elected the guy who invented the sno-cone for president. Suddenly sno-cones are 30 bucks apiece. Who knew that could happen?

What I know about the environment is very limited. But I know garbage-in, garbage-out. And I know Al Gore is no terrorist, but is working with some sanity to make things better. Whether he achieves anything or not, it's good to know someone cares. When the last arctic ice cap floats by my window I'll say a little prayer of thanks for Al Gore.

This reminds me of the first episode of Superman. We've got Superman's father foretelling troubles for Krypton. The whole planet is about to explode. But the counsel of elders are laughing, saying, "You're mad!" Pillars are falling in the palace, mountains are spewing forth lava, their table's on the opposite side of the room from when the meeting started, yet Jor-el is mad -- the very idea! That we would need to build spaceships to fly somewhere else!

Boy Leg Avoids Dumpster Sluts

There I am after my post on "The Nashville Sound" record album. Just glancing through the list of other blogs updated at the time, I'm noticing that there's a lot of people out there -- maybe machines -- doing some posting at the same time. Trying to make a buck.

You'll notice 7288, posted at the exact same second as mine, "Dumpster Sluts Celebs & Free Porn." That sounds pleasant. 7291, "Shut up and Get Rich" might be a money maker, for someone. 7296, "Make Money Ebook," ugh, sounds very spam like, without opening it. I guess we're all at the same second. I hadn't noticed that.

7284, Free Site Pays You. I'm seeing a theme here.

If you look at the whole list, it's depressing. One thing like that after another, including some that don't even put in the effort to use actual words, just names like, "qpwijwxyd." Exactly how desperate you need to be for reading material to go there, that would be worth getting help for.

My mind keeps thinking of those poor Dumpster Sluts. I hope they're able to get out of that life.

The Nashville Sound

My picture isn't very good, not square, but it's good enough for today.

That is an album called "The Nashville Sound," an LP on Design Records, DLP-634. I saw a couple Design discographies online, 1 and 2.

This album has been in my room here for quite a while, unplayed and ignored. But today I noticed a name on it that sounded interesting, "Rocky Bill Ford," and wondered who he might be. I looked him up, and sure enough, there was some information on him. And there's even a CD with his complete recordings, which, who knows, I might have to get someday.

It says over there that "Little is known of William A. Ford whose prime income came from his work as a barber in Houston. He met Peck Touchton and his band as a place called Betros’ Dine and Dance on Studewood and asked to sit in, saying he was looking for a band to back him on some songs he had written." One guy remembered that on his left hand, he’d injured his index finger, couldn’t use it at all. So he played guitar with three fingers, open chords all the time. "He was easy going; ambitious, but not too ambitious. He knew that nobody could make a living playing music…None of us quit our day jobs.”

And yet here a couple tracks from Rocky Bill Ford have been there on my floor, maybe a year! Never heard by my mortal ears!

I'm about to listen to this album...

1) Patsy Cline - A Stranger In My Arms -- Nice, slow swinging country sound. "We have lost the flame that warms. Though I hold you while we're dancing, you're a stranger in my arms." She goes on to say that every story has an ending, and this is it. And once it's over it's over, because lovers can never be friends. Having said all that, she'll still dream about him. But she knows he'll never want her, because...he's a stranger in my arms. Sad song, nice clear sound, good band.

2) Patsy Cline - Dear God -- She goes to church on Sunday and makes vows that she breaks on Monday. The rest of the week she does as she pleases, then on Sunday she prays on her knees. She's not worthy, but she prays, to turn back from the path she's trod. "You'll never be sorry, dear God." There's a mournful steel guitar on this one, and an accompanying fiddle. Slow, sorrowful song.

3) Carl Belew - Too Much To Lose -- A real sweet sound to the instruments, also a slow, sad sound. Carl's voice is very silky and touching. The woman he sings to is "Too Much To Lose," and he'll never be free. He's hoping she doesn't grow tired of him. He'll love her forever, "How can you say that we're through. Can't you see that I need you? And you're too much to lose." Nice, simple country track. Very pretty vocal and instruments.

4) Carl Belew - A Wasted Love Affair -- A rockier song, more nasally, rockabilly vocal style, traditional country though. "I'm wastin' my time with a wasted love affair." Mid speed, not too fast. Good guitar after the first verse. "I know I was untrue, dear, I know I made you blue, and all the happiness I've ever known was when I had you. Now you're gone and it's no use dear, to ask if you still care. I'm wastin' my time with a wasted love affair."

5) Rocky Bill Ford - At My Expense -- "You've had your fun at my expense." Generic country, with an interesting voice, mildly nasally but maybe his normal voice. The instruments are a lot like your average Ernest Tubb song. He has a nice voice, a soft edge, some reserve. "You can shed a tear, or you can shout for joy, but you have seen the last of this foolish boy." He can't forget the mistakes, since first they met. Good workaday kind of country song.

6) Hank Locklin - I Always Lose -- "I'm all alone, I always lose." Sorrowful song, a path that leads to ruins, hard luck is waiting. Each time he tries, he always loses. Good strong voice, again, a workaday song. Some of these songs sound very tossed-off, a good excuse to do a song. This one has an extensive instrumental mid-section, with a good full combo. Then here he comes again. "Deep down inside old dreams still linger. They haunt me so, I keep the blues. All through the night, I wake up crying. I can't go on, I always lose." Not a real slow song, but mid pace and marching alone. Hank has a pleasant voice.

7) Hank Locklin - It's So Hard To Say I Love You -- Fiddle introduction, then a little falsetto by Hank. Quicker paced song. He's loved her since he first met her. Instrumental middle, quick finger work, I think that was a guitar, then snappy fiddle. "It's so hard to say I love you, it's so hard to tell you how I feel." It seems his dreams will never turn out real.

8) Ferlin Husky - Road To Heaven -- Slow song, not quite as clean sounding a recording. Singing of heaven, can't be more than heaven as long as there's only one you. "Love is the highway to heaven," and it's the password to heaven, and she's someone he loves, and the password. I lost my train of thought. The road leading to his love is the only road to heaven is the upshot of this. The recording quality on this track is below the others, a muddy road to heaven. But it's good. It sounds like a message from somewhere beyond.

9) Ferlin Husky - Holy Not A Holiday -- Bemoans that Christmas has gone from "holy" to a "drunken holiday." It's holy, holy, not a holiday. It's sad that children have to watch their parents get drunk. He wonders how his Savior feels when he looks down and sees people fightin' and cussin' as they celebrate his birth. Because it's "holy, holy, not a holiday." Ferlin asks us to think what we're doing. Look to this day as a sacred one, not just another Christmas Eve. "So stop and think there, dear brother..." A mid pace, cool song, very sincere sounding, I love it.

10) Rocky Bill Ford - Since You've Gone -- Clean guitar opening on a slightly slower song. "You'll never know how it hurts to see you go." This guy's voice is cool, nasally and about to lose control, pitch or something. It has a very loose feel to it, like a guy doing it on the first take to save money. A nice piano bit in the middle, then guitar fills in after that. The recording quality is mid level. Next verse: Speaks of his dreams and hopeless schemes, seeing her smiling face, and wondering why she said goodbye, if time could but erase, heartaches and sighs, and all your selfish pride, since you've gone there's nothing left for me. Another workaday country song from the output of Rocky Bill Ford!

Some of these budget LPs I've had around for years, but have never listened to them. I used to wonder where the tracks came from. But obviously they were just tracks like "Now That's Music," tracks someone licensed to put out budget LPs with. Maybe not top of the line hits. But really, how much could it cost to license a couple tracks from Rocky Bill Ford? You wouldn't think it'd be much. But Patsy and Ferlin were big stars, and I know Carl was fairly well known. Hank Locklin, I've had or have a budget record by him. He was probably best known in the strictly country realm, guessing.

Anyway, that was a fun listen. The country sound of that time is very simple, the guys playing the instruments know their licks so well they're asleep in the sessions, and there's nothing especially challenging to sing about. Man leaving woman, woman leaving man, crying, sad, wanting you back, that's it!

Missed Hillary's Speech

Among the things I don't understand is being late, or excessively so.

So I missed Hillary's speech today, because I can't sit around forever waiting. We have lunch things to tend to, other errands, other things in life than waiting, sitting, watching a motionless black SUV in a driveway.

Then when we got home it was all over.

Why was she late? I wonder if they ever said. I know if John McCain's ever late, it will relate in some way to his days as a POW, so he'll always have a good excuse. But what was Hillary's excuse?

The commentators said it had something maybe to do with building suspense for what she was going to say. Keith Olbermann used the term "Hitchcockian" a couple times. If that's so, please spare us the suspense. You say you're going to be somewhere at a particular time, try to make it.

Good thing she's not going to be elected president. We'd have the inauguration at noon and she'd still be at home, us waiting, she trying to "build suspense."

Punctuality is a virtue, and it's courteous. Being unnecessarily late is stupid.

Everything Zen

The blog's I've been checking out today seem to run the extreme of 1) being there forever, or 2) just being started.

I'm a sucka for anything with Zen in the title -- so here's one called Everything Zen. That's the title. I guess the blog URL is something else, absolute-zen.blogspot.com.

It's one that's just underway, with today having the first post, called, "From The Beginning."

From that: "Energy. Everything is energy. Everything passes along energy. Music passes energy from creator to listener, words from writer to reader. Our bodies create energy; so do our thoughts and actions. All that energy flows from us (ever wonder why throes of religious fervor - any religion - include hands in the air and head tilted back? It's the energy pouring out), and we can tap into the energy that surrounds us."

The writer, Brenda, offers this concerning her blog, "Where you'll find notes from my trip down the path of pagan faith and spirituality."

We'll check in once in a while!

The Stink of Bush

Link: "Barack Obama is fond of using a four-letter word to describe John McCain: Bush."

McCain has the stink of Bush all over him. But he's busy running around the country, his speeches for the most part consisting of this exact quote: "Me no Bush."

What will you do on foreign policy? "Me no Bush."

What will you do for the economy? "Me no Bush."

What will you do on foreign policy? "I said, 'Me no Bush.' Oops, that's five words."

But the truth is equally simple: "He am Bush." McCain and Bush are bosom buddies. This famous picture has been Photoshopped. Meaning he was even closer to Bush in the original, but they backed him up a bit in the edit.

Come on, the man had a 95% voting record in the Senate, with Bush's policies. And I heard that he has going this year a 100% voting record with Bush's policies.

"Me no Bush?" You too Bush! The stink of Bush is not something you can so easily get rid of. I went coon hunting with a guy one time, and his dog came out of the woods with a skunk. That dog stunk every time I saw him -- at least in my mind. I never wanted to get close to him after that, because stink has a way of abiding.

Hold your nose a few more months.

My Friends: John McCain's Speech

"My friends, I say, my friends... And you are all my friends... I look out over this great crowd, and I thank my loyal staff for showing up to support me. You are my true friends. And as I look out, I see you. And, my friends, as you look back at me, you see me, too.

"For those of you who are here this evening -- perhaps you don't know why exactly. You were simply on the street, maybe, and someone gave you five dollars and the promise of a free drink later... I also count you as friends. Thank you for being here.

"But let me quickly get to my speech this evening, friends. We're here in New Orleans. And FEMA will be holding a press conference in this hall in a half hour, so we need to hurry. On the other hand, my friends, they might not show up at all, in which case I reserve the right to extend and revise my remarks.

"First, let me say congratulations to Senator Obama. Congratulations.

"Second, let me say 'job well done' to my dear, dear friend, Senator Clinton. You fought a hard campaign, but because of the pundits mostly, with a slight assist from the voters, you were not able to prevail. You're still likable enough, my friend. To your very bitter supporters, Senator Clinton, let me say this: You are my friends. And as I share with you your feelings of profound disappointment, let me quickly turn it to my advantage, and ask you to overlook our vast philosophical differences, not to mention your obvious self-interest as Democrats, and ask you to vote for me.

"Senator Obama speaks eloquently of change. But it is not a change we can believe in. He offers hope, but it is not a hope we can believe in. He offers a new direction, he offers peace and prosperity, a partnership with the American people, a responsible presidency, an outlook for the world that is based in respect and mutual well-being. But it is not a new direction, peace and prosperity, a partnership with the American people, a responsible presidency, or an outlook for the world that is based in respect and mutual well-being that we can believe in. In short, whatever Senator Obama offers, it is something that we cannot believe in.

"My friends, you know me. You know my record, my character. You are well aware how when I came back from Vietnam, I found my first wife all crippled up, then started cheating on her within a month with Cindy, then divorced her and married Cindy. You know my character is good. You also well remember my part in the Keating 5 scandal. And you know that I am to be completely trusted, my friends, that I am above reproach. But, my friends, you don't know about Senator Obama. He might, he may eventually do something wrong.

"Senator Obama keeps repeating something about me, my friends. And he says it over and over, that I am running for George W. Bush's third term. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I spoke with the president today, in fact, and he says the same thing. And as we all know, President Bush is a man of his word.

"My friends, I see the FEMA people have arrived for their meeting, so let me close. I see they're bringing in several pallets of bottled water. Which, er -- I believe that water's been on order for three years, but it's good to see it showing up. That's the kind of leadership I hope to continue. Although I do believe that water is needed over in another part of town. But we'll get that cleared up, my friends.

"In conclusion, let me again say how much I respect Senator Obama. But let me hasten to add, my friends, Senator Obama is untested, offering what we cannot believe in, seeking to sell out America to the Muslims, and looking to appease our enemies. He's a good man. I, on the other hand, my friends, will stand tall, shoot first, ask questions second, and continue in the proud heritage of all of our great Republican presidents, Ronald Reagan and the first George Bush.

"Thank you, my friends, and God bless America."

The World's Upside Down

I was at a breakfast meeting today, and unfortunately the subject of politics came up for a few minutes. This can be tricky ground to navigate if you're part of an organization that wants to keep harmony and mutual respect alive throughout the membership. Like in families, certain topics need to be off-limits, such as almost everything, and certainly politics.

So with that in mind I didn't put up a fuss or argue any point, but just let whatever remarks there were pass like they were inaudible, like a fly buzzing in the next room.

But this guy -- a Republican, though level-headed in many other respects -- said something about Obama, that he didn't know anything; he essentially said Obama is stupid.

And so there I am, thinking, the Republicans gave us George W. Bush -- as incompetent and dopey as anyone we've ever seen on the public scene, but for this guy, Bush was someone smart enough, good enough, competent to be president of the United States. I've never heard a peep out of him about Bush's intelligence, curiosity, ability to color within the lines, anything.

Then we get a guy, Obama, who has been a professor in college, speaks in complete sentences, can propound an argument in such a way that you can see a logical train of thought, a guy showing thoughtfulness and insight. And this guy can sit there and say Obama doesn't know anything!

Like my title says, the world's upside down for a lot of people. Up is down. Intelligence is ignorance. It's maddening. Like, hey, "Reality called and it wants to get together with you sometime!"

Gallery of the Absurd

Here's a nice blog worth checking out, for a laugh or two.

Gallery of the Absurd. Abandon sense all ye who enter here!

The posts are brief and feature a funny graphic, or at least a graphic that has absurd qualities that can be discerned and that makes it funny!

As for this "Cream-O-Riffic" label, the Spartan company probably doesn't see anything so absurd about it.

But at the blog, Derek says, "Mmmmmmm. Doesn't this sound like something you'd just love to put in your mouth? And what's more, it's a 1 1/2 pounder!"