The First Guy With A Gun

The first guy with a gun at a presidential event is reminding everyone, "Hey, remember I was the FIRST. These other guys are imitators!"

"It never occurred to anyone just to show up with a gun till I did it. And now everyone wants to jump on the bandwagon!"

So look for his internet store, selling T-shirts with a gun on it, saying, "I was the first!" If anyone's name deserves a future trivia question on the subject, it's his. Although I don't remember what it is at the moment. Westric. Wrestic. Wettick. Weston. I'm not coming up with it.

Anyway, it's a new day for presidential events, and this will make them much more exciting for years to come. At least till we have another Republican president and all this is forbidden again.

But who knew what you can get away with?!

John Wilkes Booth is kicking himself in his grave. "I could've just bought a ticket, killed Lincoln, and stayed for the rest of the show. Silly me."

Lee Harvey Oswald's going. "I could've killed Kennedy and finished out my shift. No need to run."

Sirhan Sirhan's sitting there going, "He wasn't even president yet! And anyway, I was trying to kill a mouse in the kitchen."

Squeaky Fromme is out of prison, thinking, "That was a waste of 30 years. They should've pinned a medal on me."

It seems like John Hinkley's been doing time too, poor guy. But who knew he had the right to be there with a gun? We didn't know it at the time.